Suddenly your world becomes a movie script and everything is all Romeo and Juliet, so intense and dramatic – the pining longing whirlwind of emotion and obsession. Every note book you own will develop a rash of doodles – covered with initials, hearts and stars. Your life comes with its own soundtrack as the charts are filled with songs that might have been written especially for you. You suddenly find yourself a stuttering, clumsy, blushing idiot with what feels like a heart condition as it starts to race every time they notice you.
Now this spell may last anything from a couple of months to a matter of seconds – but be sure: fancying someone will make you feel embarrassed, self conscious, stupid and insecure – opening up a whole wardrobe of emotional monsters for you to deal with that you had no idea even existed.
Nothing Makes Sense
Unfortunately we don’t always get a choice of who we fall for; there is often no rhyme or reason why certain people tend to push all the right buttons. It’s not always the most obvious people who do it for us; they don’t have to be fit or funny or cool or even actually very nice or treat us well. Quite often we’re just suckers.
There is no guarantee that:
- they will fancy you back
- they are worthy of your affections
- they will treat you well
- your family or friends will approve
- they won’t ruin your street cred
- you will live happily ever after
- you will even like them tomorrow!
Your feelings can change very quickly, and there is certainly no guarantee that 4EVA will last for one or both of you no matter how many table tops and toilet doors you scribble it on.
Being rejected is horrible, but it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you. As we said, some people just don’t fit and there isn’t always a reason for that. It does not mean that you are unattractive or uninteresting.
A few words of caution when the shoe is on the other foot – whilst it is always nice for someone else to find you attractive and want to be with you, don’t play games and don’t be cruel. If someone has the courage to tell you that they fancy you and for whatever reason you don’t feel the same way – please be gentle. It takes a lot of guts to lay your feeling out on the line and open up to someone. Take it as a compliment, thank them and apologise. Remember how would you feel if things were the other way around?
Be Yourself, be Relaxed and be Respectful.
© Going off the Rails 2012. Adapted from ‘Playing Downstairs’ by Jonny Hunt